Dear Friend,
How are you today mom? Are you really ok, oh are you putting your  “mom smile” on and soldiering on through the day? As mothers, our minds are full of emotions that come and go in response to what we feel and experience. Some of us get angry easily while others are tender. However, this will depend on your personality and all the emotional burden that you have
acquired in your life. Every emotion is the product of wounds, disappointments and struggles that happen in our lives.

Do you catch yourself doing things that you never thought you will never do or say? Are you acting just like your own mom? Remember, as moms we are the first teachers of attitude and behavior for our kids. They will copy what we do and yelling can make them more aggressive physically and verbally. As a way of expressing our anger, yelling scares children and makes them feel insecure. It could cause long-term effects such as increased aggression, low self-esteem, and anxiety.

Yes, it could seem difficult to control your anger, however, this steps will help you out.

These three steps will help you to stop yelling at your children:

Step 1. Self-assessment
To stop yelling at your children, the first thing you should do is to detect what triggers your anger. Perhaps you are reflecting some experience, sometimes it is not the kids it is your relationship or marriage, bills or stress . It may have absolutely nothing to do with your kids. However, you must remember that your children are not to blame. To express your fears, anger and frustrations in them is the main problem. Try to remain calm and speak kindly to your children.

Step 2. Be logical with your emotions
The next time you’re pulled to yell at your children because they really did something wrong, pause to consider those factors beyond their control. The good news is that once you identify them, working to control them is easier.

Emotions have a lot to do with your logical reasoning.

Don’t get carried away by emotions. It will compromise your sense of reasoning and you tend to verbally assault your children

3. Learn to control yourself
Listen mom, it is important to practice. Remember, athletes practice before the BIG GAME by imagining what the other team will do?
What you should do at this point is to work so that your rational side dominates pure emotions. This is achieved only through practice.
Here are the most common emotions that make you scream at your children are:

• Anger
• Frustration
• Fear
• Sadness
• Guilt

 Your job as a mom will be to imagine scenarios that bring up these emotions and decide what you will do before the ACTUAL moment.

Here are a few additional strategies.

Read about the factors that make you lose control and learn to deal with them.

Try to walk away from the situations that make you scream at your children. It is not about evading problems, but about giving yourself time to breathe and regain control and calm.

If you have older kids, who may be able to understand, talk to them and explain what bothers you and why. This is the simplest solution. You may discover that by explaining that this bothers you, your children’s attitude changes completely in that regard.

Preach by example. They say that actions scream louder than words and your children will respond to you the way you treat them. If you don’t want to be ignored, don’t ignore them. It’s simple!

And remember: they will GROW UP. The most important step to stop yelling at your children is to take care of YOUR SELF.

XOXO
Dr Omerine